you can’t win with me (immigration frustration)

Enil has been in Honduras waiting for a decision on his visa for over eighteen months. We found out this week that it is likely to be another seven months before a decision is reached. He and I are both so tired of waiting and being apart. We are beyond frustrated with the possibility of another seven months. Enil has missed two-thirds of Ziggy’s life. He has missed the first tooth, the first step, the first word and countless other moments and milestones.

While Enil has been away, I have weaned Ziggy, gotten depressed, quit my teaching job, and consequently lost dear friends. I have definitely been “consuming” (both material goods and food) more than I am comfortable with for my health and philosophically. I will be so glad to have Enil return, though Ziggy and I have found our groove and it is good. I am so happy to be able to be home with Ziggy doing our thing. It will be weird to go back to making joint decisions again.

I find that holidays and anniversaries are especially disheartening. I know others mean well but I grow weary with giving “Enil updates.” The changes are so few and far between it gets old having nothing to share. On the other hand, I get annoyed when people do not ask about our situation. See, I told you that you can’t win with me. When my friends complain about their boyfriends and husbands, I want to scream, “at least he is here with you!” When they share nice things that were done for them by their boyfriend and husbands, I think, “must be nice.” If you are in my life and think I might be talking about you, I probably am. Please don’t worry about it; it’s my problem, not yours. I want to hear your joys and complaints because I’m your friend. I just need to vent and complain a little. I don’t really want anyone’s pity but sometimes I need to have a little pity party for myself.

I know that once Enil is back, we will quickly forget this time apart, but for now, it’s a pain in the ass. Thanks for listening.

Senators, congress people, legislators, and policy makers: Please do not espouse and tell me about your beliefs in family values when you will not allow policies that could prevent situations like mine.

Ok, enough with the bitching and moaning, spring is here!